"They're trying to kill me"

I've started my psychiatry rotation this week at Wesley Woods Hospital.


1)
I've talked to my first schizophrenic patient. This Modest Mouse song, "World at Large" reminded me of him.


Went to the porch to have a thought. 
Got to the door and again, I couldn't stop. 
You don't know where and you don't know when. 
But you still got your words and you got your friends.


I know that starting over is not what life's about. 
But my thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth. 

2)

coun·ter·trans·fer·ence/ˌkountərˌtransˈfərəns/

Noun:

The emotional reaction of the analyst to the subject's contribution. (google dictionary)

3 days in and I'm definitely feeling it. I have felt unusually anxious the last few days, and it's not "the crazy rubbing off on me." Rather, I think it's the effect of talking about these incredibly personal details of people's lives and having to remain stoic and objective about it. It's sad. It's draining.

This sounds like a pretty negative post, but I am actually excited about the rotation. I think I'll learn a lot, but I also think it's going to be difficult.

3) 

I learned my "tell." 

Today we had to practice the psychiatric exam with a partner in the class. The clerkship director said he would be coming around to give us feedback and specifically let us know what our "tell" is -- what gives us away when we're nervous. He said by knowing our "tell," we could work to not let it show during patient interviewing.

My "tell" is that I flush -- my face and neck turns bright red. Awesome -- because I can really change on working that, ha.